live life, not through it

girl's dilemma

2012-01-11T21:14:00.001+08:00

when instructed for a formal wear, interview style :

questions to answer:

1) one piece or two piece

2) if two piece- slacks or skirt

3) if skirt- what kind, above knee or below knee

4) shoes- flats or heels

see~ so many questions T_T

2012

2012-01-01T00:57:00.001+08:00

so goodbye 2011

and

HELLO 2012!!! make this an awesome year for me please and thank you! :D

STPM OVER!

2011-12-17T00:18:00.005+08:00

this post is like sooo 4 days late :P

anyways~ idk with STPM now completely out of the picture, except for the results part.... life feels so...empty.. its a weird feeling but yea.

i dont know, may be due to the absence of people. well you see i'm an extrovert and so extrovert draws energy from people.. so pretty much like some kind of supernatural being, BUT in a good way.. xP (right~)

soooo yeaa~ all i've been doing is just helping my mum out in the office.. stock, cash, teaching new people bout the system and bla3~ and i feel so lifeless... like, lack of accomplishment, lack of something that make me look forward to life...

which is actually pretty sad T_T so yeaaa~

then this morning actually, its more like YESTERDAY morning, cause its already past 12 x) i just woke up after 4 hours of sleep. slept at 4am woke up at 8 =.= anyways~ woke up feeling like "i need to get out of this place and seriously get to a place that people actually want/need me" like, a place where at least my presence is of an importance, welcoming at least? sooo yeaa~ hence why i book a flight to BRU :) after consulting with my *coughs* board of directors ;) their replies were VERY satisfying. heheh

so off i go to brunei next week. prolly one of my most spontaneous, unplanned plan... i mean, the trip is next week and still dont know who's pciking me up, but with all them bitches that can drive, i'm not worried at all ~

actually i dont plan to go for this trip since i'm going to kL on the 5th of jan.. but then i really cant stand it.. the lack of energy, life... yea, that!

love

2011-12-11T22:44:00.000+08:00

love broke them when they were searching for it...

and surprisingly that's how they found each other,

i suppose that was how they clicked as well,

2 people from different background and an obvious language barrier

love helped mend their broken hearts,

and may be thats how things works out sometimes...

through looking for love, they fought, lost their battle, and found love on the way to recovery..

i dont know what is the status of their relationship...

i can only assume cause i have no rights to ask,

but whatever it is, i wish them both happy.

i wish him happy, and her as well

when i tell myself i'm gonna study

2011-12-02T15:03:00.003+08:00

1) get out of my bed

2) checks facebook and twitter

3) see/look/read some interesting things from those 2 websites

4) wasted a few minutes on those websites

5) feels a lil tired (eyes) so go back to the bed for a "take 5"

6) repeat step 1 to 5 for 200 times

7) FINALLY, gets out of my bed, and keep repeating this very line to myself

"I WILL NOW GO DOWNSTAIR WITHOUT STOPPING IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER"

and guess what peeps, this is just the first part :P

its a whole different chapter when i get my arse downstair, one that include:

1) no snacking

2) no looking for things (cause somehow i'll always end up upstairs, AGAIN then refer steps 2 to 5)

3) no piano

yesh, i am THAT good when it comes to disciplining myself

random thoughts

2011-11-27T14:56:00.007+08:00

I wonder why there's no app for blogger on a windows phone...

and I bloody can't publish post through my phone. Just can sage it into drafts -_- sadness, oh wells~ better than nothing i suppose :)

it's like I'm looking for something BUT I don't know what it is.

If you can't handle me at my worst,

You don't deserve me at my best.

leave room for expectation, more rooms for dissapointment.

prove me wrong, cause i dont wanna be right.

T_T

2011-11-26T12:37:00.003+08:00

Because of STPM, i cant:

1) go for this all expenses paid trip to malacca.

(its a camp thingee, and i was given the opportunity)

2) go to kL to see me momma go on stage :(

3) play arcane's TD, digimon, PS2

4) watch 那些年，我們一起追的女孩 or any other movie on my computer

5) read my novels or those online stories

6) hangs with me friends

7) skype or be on the phone 24/7

8) sleep without feeling guilty...

STPM, BE GONE you evil EXAM! >=/

today today :D

2011-11-22T17:32:00.005+08:00

started off pretty bad actually~ in the morning mum&sis was like UGHH! piss me off only... and sis's way of talking to me bha. so yeaaa~

but then after that i stayed in her library from 9.30am till 3pm studying CHEM, whole way through... heheh~

i swear her teacher (this one teacher only) realises that i'm a PTI. he'll smirk every single freakin' time he sees me. creepy =/

so after that i went hiking in bkt padang (like usual) :D

i really love to hike now...especially nowadays, cause

1) if i stay at home, i'm no match when it comes to fighting the urge to sleep..

the bed, my best friend and worst enemy. yes, obviously a love-hate relationship there :P

2) i love the scenery, the height, the WIND x)

3) i can sleep well at night, and i feel healthy~

so anyways, bump into eloise again today, she just started when i was about to leave. hehehe!~ and went to buy cakoi for my grandma...

the most awkward thing happen when i was buying cakoi...

so he speaks faster than me and seem to can read my mind, which is pretty good cause after hiking i always have brain jam moments, so when i was about to payy...

him: anything else?

me: nope

him: seldom see you come already oh

me: no ah, always come ah

him: then never come buy liao la

me: *awkward laugh*

seriously........

highlight of the day: when going through the kiansom road, I SAW A PIGGY CROSS THE ROAD. seriously!! a PIGGY! x) i didnt even know there're piggys here..i thought they're all somewhere far far away o.o

oh! and i knew malaysia won, 5-4 cause a kid was screaming on top of the hills..together with malaysia boleh and kami yakin sama kau or something along that line :P correct if i'm wrong tho, on the score ;)

looool~ i dont even know why i blogged this xP heheh~ oh wells :D

and i super hate pimples =/ idk why its all coming out...shhhiiitttt~ must be the stress >=/

you're the apple of my eye

2011-11-16T20:22:00.002+08:00

omg! i really really wanna watch 那些年，我们一起追的女孩

i really dont get it why is it only screened at growball! WHY?!!!!

gah!!! i dont think i've ever been despo, wanting to watch a chinese movie.

since i'm pretty much the kind yang watch or dont watch also ok de =.=

BUT, i REALLY wanna watch this T_T

i've watch the trailer for like 100000 times -________-

sad...

youtube it plp, its one of the best chinese movie ever made.

it even beats immortal and all that in malaysia, and yet the whole kk only growball has it T_T

everything's gonna be alright

2011-11-16T16:15:00.003+08:00

currently playing good charlotte-waldorf worldwide.

the title is part of the lyrics, its random ;)

i really don't know why am i blogging so much lately.

shopping with my retarded sis when she's hyper is both really nice, and embarrassing.

like seriously, she sings on top of her voice (purposely out of pitch, tune and all that), and so everywhere i turn people keep staring.

but at the same time, its so retarded and you cant help laughing with her x)

so we were suppose to buy some ingredients for this dish that my dad's gonna cook and it requires chili boh, but there were none.

so she asked this dude, where to get cili boh, and he showed us cili giling and we were like, ini bukan cili boh. the workers stared at us as if we're idiots.

then there were lots of nurses cause i guess their class just ended (masterskill) then i was like

why are there so many nurses here?

sis: cause today is cosplay day

me: really?

sis: yea, look at that

*kid in mickey mouse suit walked pass us*

LAWL~~~seriously, talk about coincidence :P

life lessons

2011-11-15T16:12:00.006+08:00

growing up, you'll realise that there are things that one should learn,

they call it, life-lessons.

a few techniques/skills that one need to obtain/get/perfect before reaching adolescence:

1) smile, no matter how sad or depress or whatever shit you feel, smile. and make it look real~

2) trust no one completely. yes of course you're allowed to trust, d'oh~ but never place a 100% trust on one certain individual, cause if that person leave...well yea, we better not get to that, its saddening.

3) learn how to cherish every hour, minute, second. cause time waits for no man, no kidding.

once its over, its over. all that's left will be memories

4) if you're not a loner, start getting use to the idea that as you grow older, solo time will happen more often. cause truth is, no matter how many friends you have, you're alone. your own battles to fight, your own life to live. not your friends, not your family. no one, not even your own shadow is there for you ALL THE TIME.

5) brace yourself for the fact that people come and go. ever heard of the friends come in for a reason, a season and a lifetime bla3 story? its true. friends today may not be your friend tomorrow. well, at least thats better than people who pretend to be your friend and yet, does things behind your back. that, you gotta watch out for.

6) dont be prejudice. never judge a person by how they look and talk or whatever. because, everyone has their own story, so you have NO RIGHTS at all to judge. people who looked like they have it all are the ones who usually have nothing at all. yes, its that bad. so before you start commenting on others, THINK, who are you to be commenting? are you trying to play god? do you know what this person had to go through? why does he/she acts this way?

7) be there for the person who is there for you. most people take others for granted. this is true, its happening EVERY freakin' WHERE. and reality is a bitch cause you see, i dont know why, but humans have the tendency to do this. you care for A, and A cares for B and it goes on and on and on. and in the end everyone gets hurt and sad. cause you invest so much on A and A doesnt even care bout you and B cares for C more than B cares for A....okay, so you probably get the idea.

8) never believe a side to the story. cause whoever that is listening to your story, will obviously will be on your side. the story teller always tells the story where he, himself is a victim. get the full bloody story from 300 perspectives before judging the other characters of the story.

9) dont hate anyone. cause think about it, why do you wanna focus all your energy on this person. and who is this person, why do you even allow this person to even affect your mood that much. is it worth it? (and again refer to no.6)

oowh~ i'm done :D

but just cause i wrote all this, doesnt mean i've perfected them myself cause you see, OBVIOUSLY its easier said than done. so yea~ :/

it's just the little things in life i realise especially after entering form6. so i guess, form6 has its goods too :)

its just that, some of em, had to be learnt the hard way. ahhah~

too bad school doesnt teach us all these stuffs man... but i think, even if they do, its not like we can undestand it. as in of course we can understand, but in-depth understanding? okay nevermind, crappin' here :P

back to me beloved books.

so should i go for bio, chem or math now? O.o hmm~

believe, how to?

2011-11-14T13:49:00.004+08:00

so i just came back from kundasang like yesterday :) it was a great trip, i swore to myself that i'm leaving all the sadness and things that are bothering me behind.

i love it when my dad tries to make my wish come true...

but something has been bothering me, and so i've decided to blog it...

no, its not for the hope that some hobo sees it and tries to help me out..

no its not for attn seeking purposes, cause if it was that i would have fb-ed instead of writing it in my bloody sad blog that no one even checks out on.

and no, i am not a depress child

so ima gonna go for this trip to climb Mt.K this coming jan.... with my classmates..

and i dont know whether i should go or not. (so i've already gave the deposit or whatever and passed up my ic) but you see thing is I STILL DONT!

why?

cause is it better for me to be there or not? will things be awkward?

THAT'S WHY.

so he said he wants to be friends, but thing is, if you really do, you can always text. i mean i know you informed the whole class to bring photocopied IC. eveyrone but me, what am i suppose to think about THAT? and the excuse for not having my number is just bullshit. true i have changed my number, but my original number is not disposed off yet ..

okay~ so i've heard you lost all your contacts..SO? the bloody form has my number on it. so what do you want me to make out of that?! sigh~ lost cause, i know.

its not like i can ask, another un-answered question that only allows assumptions to be done. again, with the assuming...

words are uttered in that sense whereas actions are showing otherwise

its the little things that shows. i'm no genius but reluctancy and hesitation is obviously there.

why should i go to a place with a bunch of people(okay so may be its not a bunch but just a few) who obviously doesnt want me there.

i am no thick-skinned, and i sense awkwardness in the air easily.

i can pretend i dont see it, feel it. but deep inside i know.

sigh~

for what purpose do i go? just so that i can make my own dreams come true, since i've always wanted to climb Mt.K.. just so that i can release you from your guiltiness of knowing that if i dont go, its cause of you?

but is it worth it? cause i may be able to climb next time, probably with people who actually wants me there, instead of, well yea...

lately, i really felt that i've lost you too. may be its cause i've been distancing? idk. no, actually its more like i dont know how to react to it. or what to do about it.

you're close to a person who i cant even talk to, what am i suppose to do bout that...

and NO, i dont hate you or anyone else for that matter.

its probably my own problem. everyone chooses their own path. so yea, there's no right or wrong in whichever road anyone choose. its reality i guess. its a bitch and we all just have to accept it.

yup, acceptance.

hence why i'm pretty glad why school is over. cause its really awkward and weird for me in school. sometimes i dont even know where i belong, where should i go, how should i act, what should i do. stressing. yea~ and its not even about academics. SERIOUSLY =.=

i tried staying smiley all the time, some days are better than others. smiling all the time does help, cause it actually feels like your really happy, so yea, thats good to that.

and some days are just hard..and so i gave up on my act and just tell the world i'm moodless. cause you see truth is, i am. my happy mood killed by my very own thoughts.

happiness & friends-- so hard to grasp it's meaning and how it feels as you get older, and heck i'm just 19 this year T_T hahah~ oh wells.

LIFE

2011-11-06T09:25:00.002+08:00

hmm~ i shall make today a productive day :)

its been an uberly unproductive week anyways~

so to summarise it all up:

things worth remembering for this week!~

1) i ate crocodile meat, it was my first

2) school is ending in 4 more days

3) i graduated with all the robes and hats and stuff

4) fosis night is over (idk what to comment on the night itself tho)

5) i finally learn how to use whatsapp and i'm LOVING it

- i dont mind never reloading, starting from now ;)

6) i talked to my bestie of 8 years and so my sky is more of blues than greys compared to 2 days back

7) my uncle and his family (from labuan) is back!

8) i am detaching myself from me beloved phone

9) i'm starting to get serious? o.o (for academics)

10) tomorrow is a holiday!

i guess thats all, cant think fo anything else.

i have such an awesome playlist than it only consist of 4 songs, and all four are of different languages :) yay me~ :P heheh

all rights, back to my seductive books (I WISH)

this is who i am

2011-11-05T11:20:00.003+08:00

i remember the days when i answer those weird questions from magazines or whatevers.
when it comes to questions where i had to pick one out of the two things that i like, for instance apple and pear (eventhough i dont quite like apple that much, assuming that i do. you pretty much get the idea right?) i'd pick both. see, thing is you cant. so i came out with a conclusion, between two things that i really love. if i cant get both i will choose neither.

i still dont know whether its a good thing or not. this personality of mine, but to be honest, i cant help it.
hence, the reason why i always dislike decision making cause obviously i am one of those super indecisive people.
hence, why i dont like to get pressured and pushed to a corner when it comes to deciding on choosing two things that i really like, love even.
it hurts a lot. getting stuck into these kind of situations.

so to my future friends, i hope you guys will never put me in these kind of situations. cause once you asked, there's no turning back.
if both cannot be accepted then it will be neither.
can you take that? can i take that?

4 more schooling days, and its all gonna be over.
the end of the most messed up chapter in my life,
form six.

this is who i really am

2011-10-19T18:51:00.003+08:00

so i havent blog since 400 b.c.

anyways~ a quick update : (doubt anyone is still reading my blog but yea ^^)

stpm is in a month away (no joke) and here i am. enjoying life as if stpm is just a fragment of my imagination. denying reality. *pats myself* very you, ming.

yes child, you should buck up and study! seriously =.=

so yea, i feel like my blog is so lifeless cause all i seem to blog about is my study life. cause you see thats THE SAD PART, i only have a study life. not~ :P hehehe~ jk~

okay, this is so lame, its like talking to myself. i feel pathetic now =.= i shall go read! :D the lost symbol. no, i should not, i should read my bio volume 1...

guess what, i shall stop and have my internal battles, off this website.

till here then! ^^

(excuse me for my internal-chat-battling-thingee)

SHE

2011-10-08T09:21:00.003+08:00

-makes me wanna be a bitch

-brings out the worst in me

-made me realise that i am NOT a very nice person (never would i have thought that i could be this mean)

-makes me hate myself

HAHA! and you should see the texts my sis and i send to each other if its related to her.

Bild der Zeit!

2011-09-22T16:34:00.006+08:00

*o*

to weirdo :)

2011-09-22T16:26:00.003+08:00

THIS, if it was me a few years back i would prolly disagree with it but as i grow older i realise, this is really true. i prolly wouldnt be able to live this long or survive this far without my sis. so yea.

why did i suddenly write such a post? its cause it was her birthday yesterday. and i'm really glad that she had fun with her friends and all. well, technically she made yesterday a day that i will never forget too. with that said, i would just add in a "everything happens for a reason" ;) a good cause :)

anyways~

i know she's prolly NEVER gonna read this post anyway but i dont know i just feel like blogging today. heheh~ thanks for bearing with my crap peeps ;)

well, thats all for now. TAKE CARE to whoever is reading this.

life as it is

2011-09-22T16:19:00.003+08:00

haha~ i suddenly miss a lot of people :) i dont know. random, just hits me.

i havent been in touch with A LOT OF PEOPLE. i wonder how they are;

LYDS! especially you, no word woman . simmy. nickt. winss. jason. james. sou wei&wen. jingy. yan2.

wonder how they are. i didnt realise how lng i havent been in contact until my dad suddenly ask me bout 1 of em. then i was like....idk o.o lawl

actually now that i think about it, its not only those that are far that m losing my contact. even those that are near. ely, jacqs.... :( hmm~ everyone's is busy with their own thang.....

stpm= life killer T_T

neway~ thank you BIOLOGY. for at least securing me a spot for "lulus sepenuh". m working bloody hard for stpm. disciplining myself and all for it. *pumped up* i even deleted digimon on my computer, backed up in hard disk tho. but not touching it until this whole stpm thing is over. BOOS~

and m loving the mozart eventho it has some probs here and there. as in limitations. but wifi is pretty awesome, incomparable to iphone, esp in terms of apps but overall still not bad :)

2011-09-15T01:49:00.001+08:00

i'd like to think that....

it's cause of me, it rained. but thats pretty impossible, isnt it?

my thoughts EXACTLY:

2011-09-06T23:52:00.003+08:00

HOMG! its sunday ALREADY?!

2011-09-04T13:01:00.002+08:00

time flies. seriously. especially during holidays.

tomorrow will be the beginning of a VERY LONG school term =/ BOOS to THAT!

i am the epitome of lazy arses AND procrastination

study.study.study.study.study.study. i'm actually trying to incorporate that into my mind and just set it straight, like STUDY THE WHOLE DAY.period. so yea...study.study.study.

a bit on this week's happening:

went to isna's house on friday (open house) and almost EVERYONE from class was here :O only like 4 people weren't there. and last year, it was like only 3 person went. ahahha~ huge difference man.

yesterday went to work like usual then went to api-api mcD with yanyan&ely :) they wanted to help me celebrate my bday x) hehehe~ ely bought me ice cream and they bought secret recipe cake for mee. hehehe~ but the burger was so filling that we couldnt finish the cake, so i brought it home. then we walked around cp :) i so terharu xD heheheh~ and so i just got jacqiee's letter ytd too :P eventho she prepared it like weeks before! hahaha~

♥

looking for that drive

2011-09-01T19:26:00.004+08:00

i'll be completely honest.

i'm out of drive~

must not give in to sloth, laziness.....

i'm currently craving for ice cream tho, magnum to be exact.

SEPTEMBER! pls be nice.

ADDICTED TO JET LAG!

check out thethe french vers too~

simple plan ft marie-mai :)

random

2011-09-01T00:26:00.003+08:00

too much bio does this to you x.x

the thing about taking out everything that could possibly reminds others of your birthday...

you'll be surprised by who actually remembers it :)

to those who did, thank eu. even if its just wishes, be it advance, on that day or belated, it suffices.

ima gonna come up with a bucket list! :D soon~ may be during one of my ultra boring class

i shall eat less meat (beef to be exact). after watching this vid clip from temple, i just realised our world is seriously in super deep shyt. SERIOUSLY. and plus i think it'll make my momma happy. i'm not suppose to eat it anyway :P GUILTAY~

i am not gonna reactivate back my facebook until STPM is over

i realise friendships that are formed with the opposite gender at this age is very temporary. actually, most friendships formed at this age are pretty wobbly...

cherish every moment, second. it'll never come back

digimon dusk is VERY addictive

my liking for music genre differs depending on the language

english-pop/punk/rock (Boys Like Girls, Simple Plan, ... you get the idea)

chinese&korean- slow songs

i get addicted fast and i get OFF addiction fast.

when i say addiction, i meant food, drinks, songs, games....

life of a trial-ager

2011-08-31T20:32:00.005+08:00

trial-ager, a teenager preparing for trials..

if eating books will help boost memory.

i'll do it.

seriously.

no time.lack of time.no time.

one week is so not enough!

like how is it possible

finish syllabus is a week time.

its crazy

fuck trials man

i've wasted so much time already

last sat and sun- BREAK

monday- studied (kinda, then i ended up digimon-ing :/ guilty)

tues&wed- temple

thurs- parents prolly wants to go out (but i'll request to study)

fri- isna's place

sat- going out with ely?

sun- study

mon- school like usual

tues- trials

WHERE THE TIME TO STUDY??!

i'll now use whatever time i have to study.. yup yup. buck up child, trials ahead so lets not waste anymore time.

out~ back to my beloved books :/

its a holi holidayy~

2011-08-26T20:39:00.004+08:00

so what?

cause; agenda: stay at home to "study".

why?

when school reopens in a week time (I KNOW RIGHT?!!! ONLY A WEEK!!!) its trial.

trial: that exam that we can use to apply for scholarships. the exam results used for our graduation which they will announce in front of the whole school whether u're one of those candidates that "lulus sepenuhnya, lulus sebahagian or lulus separa" or something equally degrading.

dies x.x

anyways~ still i wanna wish every school students out there, happy holidays :)

oh! & selamat hari raya to all that celebrates~

loool

i'm grateful for all the friends i have :)

her style, i LIKE!

2011-08-20T21:41:00.002+08:00

APOLOGIES on the lack of updates.

my internet was down and there was on line yada3~

neway~ i think i wont be much of a "frequent updater" because trial and all is coming. and my excel result is FAR from acceptable. so yea. I.SHALL.STUDY.MY.ASS.OFF.THIS.HOLIDAYS.

i would totally put up the "hiatus" sign for my blog but~ since holiday is approaching i might just update a thing or two, so no..no signs yet :P

lalalala~ watching my girlfriend is a gumiho lately. its quite nice, not bad :)

other than that nothing much bout my life. its getting boring-er. which is a good thing ;)

i like it. i like how it is now.

oh! and happy birthday lyds xD betcha spending qual time with him :P heheh~

why i love BLG

2011-08-03T20:42:00.005+08:00

ALL their songs are equally awesome! never get tired of listening to em'

-Up Against the wall (AWESOME-ST SONG EVER)

And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then you threw me up against the wall
Who said that it's better to have loved and lost?
I wish that I had never loved at all

-Thunder

I tried to read between the lines

I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation
For what I'm feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

-the shot heard around the world

I used to hideaway and only try to save myself
From falling in love, or staying up on the shelf
I was afraid to walk the streets alone, or by your side
Just waiting up for something that could save my life

-Holiday

A new start
I've broken too many hearts
And I don't have any clue where to go
I don't know
But maybe I'll be back someday after my holiday

-Chemicals Collide

I got a couple of problems
A thousand puzzles runnin' through my head
But I think that you could solve them
You're always just one step ahead

-Go

Believe the tunnel can end, believe your body can mend
yeah I know you can make it through,
cause I believe in you
So let’s go put up a fight,
let’s go make everything all right
go on and take a shot,
go give it all you’ve got
oh yeah I know it’s not easy,
I know that it’s hard
know it’s not always pretty
...

get up and go,
take a chance and be strong
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on
don’t look back just go,
take a breath, move along
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on

-The Great Escape (cant wait to sing this after STPM!)

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make the great escape
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway
Watch it burn
Let it die
Cause we are finally free tonight

-Hero/Heroine

I never thought that you could break me apart
I keep a sinister smile and a hold of my heart
..

But not this time
Cause you caught me off guard
Now I'm running and screaming
...

I won't try to philosophize
I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes
This is how I feel
And it's so surreal
...

And I don't know why

You'd even try
But I won't lie

...

Had my heart on lockdown
And then you turned me around

i shall stop here~ but people, check out ALL their songs. its really good :) it's VERY relate-able.

harry potter ♥♥

2011-08-03T18:49:00.005+08:00

:')

till the very end...

so fast~

2011-08-02T21:23:00.002+08:00

excel is next week and i just realised yesterday :/ I KNOW RIGHT! genius-ness =.= so many people this month :O

anyways~ i have come up with a conclusion:

-house is a place to rest and thus why there is no drive to study. *nods nods* so not my fault =3

i played maple just now! :D and the skills (effect) was so pretty and i got so much stronger! xD woots~~~

then m addicted to this hong kong drama, gong ju ga dou :P whee~

I DONT KNOW WHY BUT i'm always addicted to all these stuffs near exam. like one of my exam during form 5, i got addicted to twilight (the series, books) =.= seriously..

they're messing with me man....messing with me, yup, definitely

please and thank youuuu~ :)

untitled

2011-07-30T15:23:00.006+08:00

i only have the urge to go online when i see the computer laying there, untouched.... on hibernate. my mum took the pc away (for work) and i didnt even bother looking for it. hahahah! thus why i barely went online this week. school's alright i guess, just some people are still LIKE THAT. nyeh~ i really dont give a damn. people can do what they want, say all they want. i'm happy with myself and how things are right now :) nerd-mode is pretty much on, i have "more" drive to study compared to few months back.

we've pretty much complete our syllabus for all four subs so its revision full blast. the word revision actually gives me a sense of confidence like finally, we're really preparing for war or something, idk. just a feeling.

i have pretty bad mood swings. if something ticks me off, everything else ticks me off. and it takes a while for me to chill.. i think i've made the wrong move for tonight but whatevers, just keep reminding myself why did i make that choice. self-deluding? idk.

tons of work

2011-07-21T20:44:00.003+08:00

so i have TONS OF WORK to do. no, like seriously tons. so ima gonna take these few nights to finish all my 2000000 thingees. whole stack of bio, chem, unfinished math1&2, pa graphs =/

so thats like 3 sleepless nights. ima still gonna get some sleep tho, prolly an hour or two. re-stock on coffee dear parents :P

wish me luck.

yesterday~ AWESOME!

2011-07-17T10:49:00.003+08:00

ok so first of all i finish running the whole way. yes, as in the whole 7k! :O i am proud cause last year i went halfway BECAUSE it started drizzling..so yea :P

who were there?

me, jacqie, silas, satya, yap2, aaron, wilbur, alston (who left early), keith&ferik joined us during the bazaar time.

saw evon, golok & koscinki during the run :) and tons of other all saints-er~

so yea~ it was fun hanging out with all of em :) tho this year is a tad bit different from last year. cause most prolly last year was all "our batch" and this year is just chilling with plp? o.o and less pictures were taken. not that it bothers me since i'm not a picture-person too :P hehehe~

anyways~ after that my mum&dad picked me up and my mum wanted to go for movies and so she picked cathay (dont know why she love it there so much) then there were only 3 movies that were screening. transformers, HP deathly hallows & mr. poppers penguins. obviously we picked HP :D before we entered the movie, saw some acquaintane who had other acquaintances who knew each other. trust me, sabah is SUPER SMALL. everyone knows everybody o.O strange place :P ahhaha~

and HARRY POTTER WAS SO AWESOME I HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE IT. way better than transformers (which i watched on friday night, 11.50pm show, YES! midnight :P) so yea, thats like 2 box-offiice movie in a row :D so people. harry potter= MUST WATCH. i dont care whether u read the book u missed the first few movies. this is a must watch.

and i may break my own record by watching it again with my sis :D cause in my whole 18 year old life. i have NEVER watched the same movie twice in a cinema :P so this may be a first :) and its WORTH IT! i glared at my mum everytime she yawned during the movie, 3 times, i counted =.= cant believe she YAWNED during HP, thats like a crime.

and had breakfast just niw and talked bout harry potter. my mum cracks us up man. there was this scene with dumbledore in a bright2 place...my mum thought dumbledore was god. hahahah! and she pronouced harry potter as helicopeter. LAWLAWLAWLAWL.

2011-07-16T09:27:00.005+08:00

she always make me choose between what i really want and what i need to do. always, without fail. god, i really hate it. that's one of the reason why i hate her so much. today, for the first time ever i'm choosing what i want instead of what i should do. it bugs me so much. i think about it every waking second. no one knows it but its really eating me up. the guilt. i dont understand why she wants to torture me like this. i really dont.

i guess this is the main reason why i'm so indecisve. how exactly can you choose between what you want and what you have to do? tell me! i'm really having second thoughts now. should i go for what i have planned for weeks just for something she signed me up two days back without consulting me? fck fcking fck. i hate this feeling, this position she constantly puts me in. people say live a life with no regrets. i doubt i could ever live a life like that.

one day ima gonna die due to my heart getting soooo weak =.=

told ya bout good vibes

2011-07-15T21:49:00.005+08:00

thursday been the day when everything starts to turn great. like seriously not bad, great! :D hahahah~ got mcD for dinner just now and ima gonna catch transformers 3 (LIKE FINALLY) at 11.50pm tonight.

my inspiration for this post: lyd's "ps". WHAT DID I DO??? :O i've been a good kidd, reallyyy *puppy eyes* heheh~

hopes all is well there lyds lyds ~ misshhh euu oh-so-much~ everytime i look at my room it reminds me of u, okay, so may be that sounded a bit wrong -_- what i meant was.....cause the watch is in the room and that small box you gave me few years back is placed in my room. so yea~ thus why it reminds me of you.. LAWL. i'm straight okay, despite the fact that i may be playful at times, i was never genderly confuse. PERIOD.

so today was SOO BORING and such a waste of time, just ceramah all day long. tho now working in SG airlines does seem very inviting :P hahaaha~ but naww~ we'll see :) and there was a spotcheck, good kid like me no bring weird things :P but then i find it so retarded to be spot check-ing the form 6. like helooo we're 18/19 and dude, u think we wanna be in school and be bounded by all these schhol rules??? =.=

competition over :D

2011-07-14T19:40:00.004+08:00

we wanted to win cash so bad that behind the booth, i was singing to yap..

it's all about the money money money

we really need the money money money~

lolol~ lame i know :P

bummer we couldnt get first, a lot of the judges said it was a shame due to the title "student's perception of the implementation of Science and Mathematics" it was such a sensitive issue and doing this research wont benefit the community CAUSE APPARENTLY there was a theme for this MUET competition which is ENGLISH AND COMMUNITY, which our beloved teacher "failed" to mention to us. we just knew today. YAY US~ =.=

but we did get 2nd runner up so thats good too :) whee~ now i'm looking for my account book :O i forgot where i placed it.....without it i cant get my allowance and claim my $$ :O

lalallala~anyway, i'm just glad that the competition is FINALLY over!!!! the last thing done. now FULL BLAST on stpm! WOOTS~ :)

muet coll competiition

2011-07-13T20:55:00.002+08:00

so tomorrow's the MUET colloquium competition. i hope we win. what really matters is the cash prize :/ almost everyone in our team are KINDA broke-ish. so cash would be VERY useful. better if we can win more than one award :P hahah~ jkjk~ must not be too greedy.....

the theater seems scary its like those lectures hall. all eyes will be on the presenters :O scaryness. MUST NOT GIVE IN TO NERVES. stay calm. yup! thats the plan... [p/s: wish me luck :P]

its held in yayasan sabah. one of my fav place in KK. there's this section of that place where you can look out to the sea and i just love to sit on the steps there and think. or just chill. calms me down. yeap. so ima try to hangout there as much as possible. i dont mind being alone tho :) will bring mp3 tmr, instincts tells me there'll be LOTS of time to kill tmr~

*yawns* getting so tired and sleepy, i think ima gonna hit the bed soon :) nights world.

just saying~

2011-07-12T15:32:00.004+08:00

i talked to you already, friggin did. okay, so you cant consider that talking but i uttered words to you. you're the one not replying and stuff. so dont say i didnt try or blame me for shits, please, go check the mirror before blaming everything to me. period.

like, tell me bout it!!!

cause monday's the worst. morning assembly that last for an hour or more. there's 3 periods of bio and then chem. killa subs. and if thats not enough, sometimes we have extra chem tuition class (in school) then usually i'll reach home around 6.15pm cause still need to pick my sis up from her school. then i'll have to shower and have dinner as fast as i can then off for tuition which starts at 7.15pm, oh yea, did i fail to mention, its a chem tuition i'm going. YEA, ihatemonday.

welcome to sabah~

2011-07-10T22:32:00.004+08:00

i dont know why i cant stop insulting the "news"

1) regarding the bersih 2.0 rally...this is what i got from daily express:

"...Among the reasons the rally proved unsuccessful in the State, he said, was because Sabahans preferred harmony..."

my comments: HAHAHAHAHA!!! nicely said, but we all know cause we

1) dont give a shyt

2) too lazy to cause any trouble

3) all too scared to die

4) everyone is waiting for someone to do something so the rest can watch a drama, which pretty much means no one is gonna do anything cause everyone is waiting. GEDDIT?

lame-ness :P harmony my ass..

2) i got from google news

"Electricity rates in Sabah and Labuan will go up by 15% from July 15 but the increase will only affect consumers whose average monthly bills exceed RM77"

LIKE HELLO?!!! can you tell me who exactly gets an average ELECTRICITY bill that does not exceed rm77??? SERIOUSLY MAN. my gawd~ might as well you scratch that last part off -_-lll and 15% is a lot =.= and why only this 2 states? if the reason is

“This restructuring is necessary to reflect the actual cost of power supply and also to promote the efficient use of electricity in line with the current energy policy,”

why not every state also increase by 15%?? like can you blame us that the weather is being so menopausal, 1 day rain and the next day sunny like oven or something... =.=

i'm craving for....

2011-07-10T19:49:00.005+08:00

something with marshamallows and cream in it :D

YOGHURT!!!

fruit with ice cream!

ben & jerry's

starbucks coffee ice cream *o* (non-existent in sabah) :(

damn the cone looks so good @.@

TITLE-LESS shall be the title :D

2011-07-10T19:38:00.007+08:00

i disconnected my twitter from my facebook! :)

exactly!!!! THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING.

i have issues

2011-07-08T16:50:00.006+08:00

yes, i'm very much aware of that.

everyday i ask myself, what am i doing. and i get the same answer every time... i don't know =/

i think people should stay away from me, or i should stay away from people...i dont know, human interaction is a two way thing so yeaa~ if you know what i mean... (excluding immediate family members, cause lately, they're the only ones who can put a smile on my face or i feel stress-free with em)

i have this awesome ability to make people feel really close and the next day, hour, minute, second...distant. and then they think its their problem, actually its not. its mine. i dont know, its like i cant treat a person in a "constant" manner. i think its prolly cause when someone gets close to me or something, i get freaked. so i try to create a space/gap. gahh!~ whatever i dont wanna think about it.

STPM STPM STPM. i suddenly have so much drive to work hard for it. teacher's pep talk help a lot. hope it last :P

so today was great, you know the feeling of satisfaction when you get things done, yesh, i LOVE that. which is why i think i'm a workaholic. i think i'll just immerse myself with work to keep myself occupy :)

so today, after school i went to buy stationeries needed by visdo&roksuny ~

then then went to the office and count the stocks (since tomorrow due to the demonstration thing, the office will be close- mum's a paranoid, seriously) =.= then went to pay and pay and more paying. so done with all the payings. all mum's stuff :D

okayy~ i dont even know why i'm talking about this. anyway! i just really really really like the feeling of having soemthing to do. like holding a cheque book and paying bills with cheque, thats cool you know. at least for me it is. is that lame? o.o

walking with an aim. yea, i like that.

which then i have come to a conclusion that, i am a workaholic, i cant stop. i dont want to stop. i love being bored and just stare up the ceiling to chill. but its really just either i'm doing nothing other than lying on the bed and STARE at the ceiling, or i have something to do. get what i mean?

i think i just feel glad that i get to share some of my mum's burden, seriously, there's just SOME things that she's really horrible at and that includes paying bills on time and things related to paperwork (eg. cheques)

lalalalalaalaalalalalalalal~ oh! and i have awesome parking lucks today! :D seriously. i like that too. and and and i broke my own record i CHANGED in the car, when i was stuck in traffic. NO JOKE. no i didnt strip...i'm just realy good. no skin exposed but i changed. from school uniform to that last year 7k t-shirt. not that hard actually since my uniform isnt exactly tight :P so yeaa~ BUT STILL! i'm so proud of myself :3

depends? sometimes, thats selfish, no?

i spent 5 mins thinking of a title and i still have nothing :O

2011-07-05T11:59:00.006+08:00

i'm down with flu and cough, a slight fever and hopefully "the" sore throat wont re-visit.

gah!!! have to get well soon, my voice is sooo weird and luckily MUET colloquium competition is next week.

report card taking day, is this saturday and my dad's still not back yet so i guess my mum have to go and take it. that is if she have time. hmm~ lets see how it is, havent actually tell her about it. lololol. feel like going to the cinema for some reason, but naww~ should not spend unnecessarily :/ so yea~ there's that. okay..how bout i will only go watch 3D for transformers and harry potter :)

yea, i'm bored, alone at home..not exactly alone but hmm~~ i feel like snacking but i'm not allowed :/ i dont know why these virus does that to you. you know you're sick and not suppose to eat certain things but its during "this" time, u crave for those "certain food" DAMNIT.

......

i shall read some bio, CLEAN MY SHELF! and continue sleeping :))) whee~~~

and i'm sorry that i did,

cause all i ever intended was to really help you.

or vice versa...

current conditon...

2011-07-03T20:37:00.006+08:00

addiction:

慢慢等-韋禮安

The story of us- Taylor Swift

不死之身-林俊杰

what's really draining is not physically, but emotionally...

i'm really sorry....

bazaar

2011-07-03T12:44:00.009+08:00

yesterday was our school bazaar. it was alright. i dont have much comments on it to be honest. just glad that it's all over. the great part is that monday is a holiday for our school only. so yea, thats great :) i think ima gonna lose a friend AGAIN. and i dont know what to do about it. i hate all this friends thingee happening. seriously. its so........................

seriously, i've never had so much friendship problems until i enter this school. and to top it off during stpm -.- like hello??? i really JUST want to focus on my studies..

good vibes?

2011-06-30T18:52:00.005+08:00

i see happy days ahead of me :D

dont ask why, its an instinct thing, and its not cause of he/she/it.

its the same way as how i know if its gonna be a horrible week or something.

i get vibes

i can relate!!

and i realise, i have seen through you guys :/

exactly! except for the self-conscious part.

end of mooting days :P

2011-06-26T14:48:00.006+08:00

we didnt win anything but nevermind, experienced gained :P and just glad that its over. finally can cross something off my list xD

the cash prizes were really good tho,

winner: RM1500

1st runner up: RM500

advocates (3) : RM200

after that dad picked me up from karamunsing then went to stand chart for a while then he dropped us at wisma where we bought juice then went to damai and we FINALLY tried the german bread :D hahah~ we were so indecisive that the guy ended up the pizza toppings for us. seriously, 3 of us arguing in the shop for 5 mins until the guy said "I WOULD RECOMMEND BBQ CHICKEN". lawl .HAHAHAHA . you should have seen his face. LMAO.

then suppose to go bkt padang, hiking. but *looks out of the window* i think the plan's gonna be cancelled. i mean, its dark and gloomy~ so yea :( then the weather lately is sooo friggin hot, its crazy. my allergies is getting worse :( and i was really trying hard not scratch :/

i want my bedroom like this when i move to a new house :D

thats how i end up hitting my head, HARD =/

mooting day :O

2011-06-25T11:02:00.005+08:00

okay..i PROMISE i will go and practice with my speech after i'm done with this blogpost...

i wonder how lyds is, did she get my text? i have no idea. i really did feel that she so unreachable, the only way i know how she is, is through the updates of her tumblr and yea, thats it. her posting, me reading. i'm sure ely feels the same way too.

and i texted jacqiee last night too but she didnt reply, i wonder how is she. i mean with the preparation for mooting( ITS LATER, x.x) and everything :/ felt like i havent talk to her for soo long. strange.

soo i've manage to memorise all 3 pages last night, but that was when i was super sleepy so hopefully the sleep did not erase my memories away :/ cause that'll be bad. and i had a dream about me being late like i reach there around 4.30pm (but then in my dream it starts at 4.30pm) so yea =/ is that a bad sign? i woke up like..what time is it?!

so anyway~ our mooting starts at 4pm and our respondents will be from Maktab Nasional. to be honest i feel really under prepared. and well yea, jacqs obviously a better speaker so, who wouldnt be initimidated right? oh well, all the best to us. like the dude say: just have fun. tssk, rights..fun... =.= one thing's for sure, lawyer's definitely off my list :P

i dont know why but i've been dreaming a lot lately. is it cause of the stress and stuff or what? i mean, i dont mind if its like good dreams and all, eventho i'd still prefer not to dream cause i get even more tired and it felt like i didnt sleep at all. so yea, thats really bad and so i get super sleepy in school and cant concentrate ._. then i'll force myself to get hyper to just wake myself up. which will result in headaches and moodless-ness after the hyperness dissipate. its a positive feeedback mechanism that is somewhat unhealthy if you know what i mean.

then i really really wanna control my emotions/eq, o.O idk in chinese its call qing xu. dont wanna be over happy and dont wanna be over sad. u know just neutral throughout the whole day and all. like dont let these kind of feelings get the better of me. cause it's annoying and draining. so yeaa. the happy part is fine, but sometimes hyperactivity causes me to accidentally insult people like you know ur hyper then ur mouth works faster than ur brain kinda thing. yea, that.

i wanna play :)

yea..me too

weekend!

2011-06-24T13:33:00.005+08:00

so i skipped school again today. cause i know its gonna be a weekend without rest and its been a real tiring week for me. with tons of things undone :O

to be honest i really dont know what to say. i feel like blogging but not knowing what to say. dumb right? i know.

so anyways, lately i realise i can be such a bitch, no i'm serious. like the i-dont-give-a-fuck-kind of person. may be i'm just tired of all the pretense and stuff. i mean, i'm tired of pleasing people ir may be i'm just tired and stressed-out, those things can REALLY get to you. and so i just put on a =.= "what?!" face. so people thinks m piss, but to be honest i'm not. i just, its a really contradicting feeling. like i'll be glad if someone comes talk to me but at the same time i put on that face so that people dont. okayy fine, so i dont really get what i'm saying or what i'm even trying to say.

may be its just part of growing up, i dont like to mix around people anymore. just rather solo through the day (but you see what i mean by contradicting cause, when i have tons of fun with my friends, THAT makes my day, yea dumbness) hahah~anyways, thats besides the point but i now start to love solitary life :P hopefully i wont die old and alone -_- and i find it easier to talk to acquaintances. like with people who you barely know.

kays so blah, cause i really have no idea what i'm blabbing bout . so hope everyone have a nice weekend :) and yea, i should start memorising my speech and start with my work. but gawd, another movie and games sounds SO inviting.

and i love phone calls more than texting and school :)

just blabbing...

2011-06-12T20:16:00.009+08:00

above statement, inspired me :P

but then if you put me in nice clothes, i wouldnt mind.

especially if situation needs it :D

awkwardnesss xD

@.@ i like! ;) and i got one of em! :D

her facebook pisses me off, my smses pisses her off.

so i'm usually pissed at her when she's at home and she's usually pissed at me when we're not at home :D

lalalal~ went to suria/wisma the whole afternoon (yes, literally) bloody parking fees cost rm4.80 WTF?!!! could have got a drink with THAT. so expensive.

anyway trimmed my hair, got an iphone casing for mum, sis got a new pair of shoes (we're sharing tho) and ate tons of things :) saw a bunch of plp (coincidence) then while we're buying the shoes from suria, it blacked out. like literally.. so yea~ wheee to that since you dont get that often :D

sooo~ i went and watch x-men last night..i just despoly wanna watch a movie like idk to make me happy, like why are all my plans always thwarted and stuff, so yea, thats where determination comes in. i went to suria and it was jamming like crazy, by the time i reached it was 8.30 (the movie starts at 9.10) and there werent any seats left. LIKE GOD I HATE SURIA! seriously, NEVER EVER EVER NEVER go to suria on a sat night for a movie if you didnt buy it like 20hours before the movie starts. like the 3rd freakin time.. i was sooo ughh!! and gah!!! and like...should i just stay in suria and catch the 11.30pm or go home or go 1b...my sis knew how my temper would be so she's like, lets just give 1b a shot.

stupid part: i left suria on the 16th minute, so i had to pay rm2.00....... BELOW 15mins- free =.= yesh i nearly stabbed the guy.

so i drove from suria and all the way to 1b in 15mins time soo yea around 9pm while the movie starts at 9.05pm :D and well~ there were tickets (only 2 front row seats available) so yea, we still got that anyway and quickly grab combo 6...turns out front row aint that front :) and well yea :) thank god i had my sis with me and she made a wise decision.

cause:

1) waiting at suria till 11.30pm is a really stupid and horrible idea.

2) going home will means me being in a really bad mood where i would prolly start a killing spree

3) i saw T.Beevy, we sat on the very same row :)))))

so tomorrow we're gonna go back to school and well this is what we have to face tomorrow:

1) an hour long of assembly in a hall filled with students.

2) muet results

3) getting our exam papers back

4) L6 orientation

HAVE MERCYYY ON USSS!!!! TT.TT

...........................

i am lost on words ._. so yea, i shall now end my blogpost =.= and err, rest my eyes for a bit before heading out later (to see vivi!!) cause this headache is killing me....

sleep~

2011-06-11T09:45:00.003+08:00

i wake up with headaches for most mornings cause i always "sits up" abruptly, so people dont do that!!! like you know wake up due to shock....

for the past few days its cause i have to bring my sis to coll so..

sleeps>> "shyt! what time is it??"

yesterday was:

sleeps>> 'OMG, have to tell gradma something urgent..

today:

*sleeps*

mum: faster wake up, ur gonna be late for work its nearly 11pm

me: O.O *checks watch* -- -9.30am..

=.= seriously mum??? exagerated much... -_-

changes...

2011-06-10T11:59:00.008+08:00

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD! :P

i know half of itttt :3

m such a potter geek =.=

me&sis :)

i realise as i grow older, i got used to a lot of things that i thought i'd never get used to when i'm young...

# eating alone

# people leaving

# driving alone

# opening gates at night. (due to what happened i was really traumatised)

# smiling eventho i really dont want to

# crying silently

# getting few hours of sleep like 2 or 3..

# enjoying nothingness. bored is a form of bliss.

# spending time alone.

# travelling alone

# sleeping, without my sis

# appreciating my family members eventho they're such %^*(*&^%$%^&*( at times.

# that heart wrenching feeling where u just feel like stabing something but u just have to take it all in

nO~ i'm not emo-ing and stuff~ i'm alrights..just something i thought of while driving and yea, decided to post it :)

listen to this 3 songs :D

情人结

取消資格

到不了的幸福

lalalal~ i know i'm soo chinese-y :P

yea, if school starts

at 10am.NO COMPLAINTS THERE ;D

kind strangers

2011-06-07T23:26:00.003+08:00

so i just got back from sandakan. as in landed. it waws delayed, due to weather probs and yada3~ you know how flights are. neway~ upon arrival i realised that my phone died, yes DEAD, battery flat. i dont know why this ALWAYS happens to me. i really dont, its freakin annoying!

lets see: (important times)

-the day i went to sandakan it died on me (thank god i was following someone's car so meh~ phone pretty much not needed, but still)

-when i'm on the boat to labuan, thank god i had my sis with me, so her phone was working and all so yea..

-when i solo back to kk FROM labuan =.= i had to borrow a phone from this aunty who sat beside me :P

- TODAY! when i solo back to kk from sandakan...luckily i met this girl who's a swimmer and does not look form4(she's from convent) ~ she's super friendly and all so we boarded the flight together [unfortunately not seat mates :( ] then when i arrived, saw her and well borrowed her phone =3

BIGGY BIGGY HUGE THANKS to the awesomely kind strangers :)

and fck u my stupid phone which died on me EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN TIME DURING IMPORTANT MOMENTS.

2011-06-07T11:08:00.003+08:00

and i still do :3

booobells :D

heheheh~ and so far so forth i havent gotten any done.. whoops! by the end of this week, i promiseeeeee :)))

2011-06-07T10:50:00.002+08:00

i know i'm suppose to update my blog and you prolly think that i have TONS of things to update since well, i went to labuan and now currently in sandakan. going back tonight tho :)

see, thing is i do have like 100001 thing to update. its like at that moment i have this whole essay in my head...but now that i'm actually right in front of the PC typing..idk where to start...

i'm just typing and typing, not pausing. seirously. hahhahah~ i'm just crapping here.. my dad's bed is really soft and i get to use 3 peelows and an awesome comforter!! :D thats great~ :) i soo want the bed and so i told my dad bout it but then again, if i did reallyget the bed i'll be having a super hard time getting out of bed (seriously, my current bed is giving me enough problems) hahaha :P so yea..and i want to "tapau" ine of the pillows home..but its sooo big and thick that well err~ i dontt think my bag can fit...if can pun, i may need to put my clothes in the backpack.. so yea~ havent exactly packed yet sooo~ let see what i can do ;P

labuan's been great :D i got my fav choc! :D whee~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ very very happy..it was kinda u know heart breaking when i had to pay cause it was so bloody expensive but NEVERMIND, worth it. since i cant get the choc in KK and not all stores in labuan has it and and and i work so hard all the time, so its only right that i spend my hard-earned money, right? o.o hehehe~ :)

then now in sandakan its all good food whole way thru, in fact foods so good that well, i cant stop eating and i keep eating and eating and eating..(okay i should stop) then my stomach's upset :( sadness~ then yesterday i think i vomited 3 to 4 times...the cheese cake and mango cake is too creamy :/ so yeaa~ BUT all is well..i'm still happy despite having physical setbacks. i'm pretty sure i didnt use the word right as in you know set-back is not the right word but MEHH~~ as long as i understand, u understand, we understand! :D yeshh~ as you can see am in a super hyper mode...happy happy :D

next next~ i'm worried bout a few of my friends :/ they seem really off and its like lots of things happened to them :( so yea~ hope they're alright.

i towallie miss home (as in kk) but at the same time i KINDA dont wanna go back :/ cause you know kk is sooooo.................................. monarchy-ish. here, i do what i want you know, i sleep when i'm sleepy. i eat when i'm hungry. i just stick with my daddy~ see, life's good. i go on9 when m in my papa's office. then when there's no internet i just play my digimon game. (i know lame) kk is like.... i have to go here, go there. send this, send that. do this. omg! like labour.....i dont like to be ordered around. period. but yeaa...life...

so all in all, i'm happy with my holidays :D hehehehs~ lalalalal~

me: *grin*

dad: why u grinning?

me: nothing

dad: ur crazy..

me: *grins*

2011-06-02T14:32:00.003+08:00

twitter

2011-05-28T17:41:00.004+08:00

so i made a twitter few days back :D and yea, its kinda fun..but now i'm not really addicted to it anymore la..and facebook is really getting boring =/ i plan to deactivate it soon.

neway~ follow me on twitter if you have one :) chewy-ming@hotmail.com

cant wait to go to labuan&sandakan. but i gotta plan my $ properly, shouldnt over budget so yea~ and i totally used up rm80++ yesterday =O i hope that rm60++ is claimable tho

i'm somewhat proud of myself since i managed to figure out where all the missing stocked went, of course with the help of my colleague and momma :) so now everything's cleared up! yay~

lawl?

trueness-es :D super love baggy shirts :)

tons of things left for me to do

mooting submission

muet coll- pictures&biblio

bio coll presentation

revise!

2011-05-28T17:41:00.002+08:00

so i made a twitter few days back :D and yea, its kinda fun..but now i'm not really addicted to it anymore la..and facebook is really getting boring =/ i plan to deactivate it soon.

neway~ follow me on twitter if you have one :) chewy-ming@hotmail.com

cant wait to go to labuan&sandakan. but i gotta plan my $ properly, shouldnt over budget so yea~ and i totally used up rm80++ yesterday =O i hoe that rm60++ is claimable tho

holidays! :D

2011-05-27T23:30:00.004+08:00

i guess i kinda do like you a lot since its your text that i was hoping that i would get, but then its not :/ so yeaa. hope you slept well tho.

2011-05-26T22:18:00.001+08:00

i cant wait for the holidays! :D anticipating. like FINALLY and i have a vacation to top it off. AWESOMENESS! :D tho i think i should REALLY start on my maths now, its already 10.18pm and i seriously havent start a single thing! =O procrastination kills, especially marks, yes i know =/

virgo? o.O

2011-05-25T14:52:00.007+08:00

I saw this on fb and some part is quite accurate la so yea, decided to re-post xD

处女座女生

女座女生喜欢自欺欺人

一直说以后一切都会好的

处女座女生脾气很坏

性格很坏

心却太善良

处女座女生很不愿意伤害别人

如果不小心伤害了她也会好自责好内疚

虽然别人看不到

处女座女生其实骨子里是很小女人的

渴望有一个避风港湾

让她去依靠

但她会确定那个人是否可以承受得了这一切

接受她的撒娇

她的无理取闹

她的缺乏安全感

她的倔强

她的悲观

她所有的性格缺陷

并且永远不离不弃

处女座女生不会轻易说爱

因为她们害怕受到伤害

处女座女生喜欢一个人承担事情

她不会主动的告诉你

虽然在朋友的感情问题上

她总是像个爱情顾问

总是说“喜欢一个人，就要告诉他，让他知道...”

但是这种情况放在自己身上

就不一样了

她不说

不代表她不喜欢你

而是怕你不喜欢她

最后大家就连朋友都没的做

处女座女生喜欢天空

就是毫无原因的喜欢

或许是因为抬头仰望了

眼泪就会倒流吧

其实很多人都觉得处女座女生永远让人猜不透

那是因为你不了解处女座女生

只要你稍稍用点心

就会了解处女座女生内心在想什么

处女座女生喜欢单曲循环的听着一首歌

不是因为它的旋律好

而是因为那首歌的歌词

或许那歌词就在写着她的故事

而你只要看看那首歌的歌词

就知道她的心里在想什么了

处女座女生有的话不喜欢说出来

但她喜欢用文字来发泄

所以

多看看她喜欢的语句

她写的文章

她常看的作品

或许你会发现她想要对你说的话

处女座女生从不做作

她习惯了以自己最真实的一面对人

如果你和她相处的时间久了

你会发现

她生气的时候其实很可爱

她从不会像别的女孩那样会讨男孩子喜欢

但她不会为此而改变自己

处女座女生喜欢胡思乱想

有的时候一件小事

就会让她产生很多的联想

处女座女生对朋友可以两肋插刀

为了朋友

可以做任何事

但她讨厌别人的利用

处女座女生不喜欢依靠别人

如果你是她想要依靠的人

请你不要让她失望

处女座女生的世界很难有人走进

如果你恰巧走了进去

请你不要轻易走出来

否则会在她的心里留下一个遗憾

而那个遗憾对于她来说

永远都不会遗忘

处女座女孩或许不是最完美的

但她有别的女孩没有的特点

处女座女孩或许有很多缺点

但有的时候她的优点正是隐藏在缺点之中

处女座的女孩从来不会在爱的人面前大声哭泣

她会一个人躲在被窝里独自哭泣

如果你看到她的眼泪

请相信这绝不是她在博取同情

这是她这样一颗内心骄傲的女子不得以的场景

处女座的伤不浓烈似酒

因为她是处女座女生

所以总和星座书上说的那些骄傲自大、虚荣这些辞汇扯上关系

其实处女座女生很低调

她是默默无闻的

其实她要的并不多

她要的只是一个温暖的家

家对她来说太重要

还要一双父母

几个知心好友

一个她爱并且爱她的人

金钱、名利、地位其实她对这些很淡泊

唯一具备杀伤力的只有感情

处女座害怕孤单

请别爱上处女座女孩

处女座没有安全感

也不会给别人安全感

请别爱上处女座女孩

处女座爱不起

更怕伤害

请别爱上处女座女孩

处女座喜欢折磨人

一会儿对你好

一会儿对你坏

淡然

她独立

也坚强

她不擅长做家务

她喜欢悠闲自由的生活

她也会为了让父母或爱的人有更多时间去休息

而不得不做她讨厌的家务

第一次见到处女座女生的时候觉得这女生有点冷

她是不擅长对初识的人展露过多的笑颜

特别是异性

一定要对方先流露出对她有好感

她才散发她的热情

处女座女生分手后不会像别的女孩要死要活

她嬉笑怒闹

变得更加“开朗”

在听到有关他的话题时

从不刻意回避

她适当参与

淡然微笑

她的表现总会遭人怀疑这段感情的深浅

而人群中只有那些知道背后情节的人才看见她背后的眼泪

分手后的处女座还是那个追求和谐、理智的她

想通后的她甚至还能和他做朋友

一切那么自然

可是她们早已让他渗入生活的点滴

她们选择在其中淡定

在其中沉默

她的五官或许不是很精致

但却有一种想让人多看一眼的独到气质

其实处女座女生不爱说话

外表冰冷高傲让人无法接近

是因为还没有真正走进她的内心世界

处女座女生是一个内心理智的像冰

同时也炙热的像火的星座

理智控制着她的一切行动

处女座女生有神秘的特质

处女座女生胡思乱想、咄咄逼人、充满诱惑、难以捉摸

容易受伤却强作坚强

处女座女生冷漠孤独

炙热专注

个性倔强

请别爱上处女座女生

i know~ so long right o.o

just watched when in rome

2011-05-24T22:16:00.003+08:00

tell me bout it. true-est statement, ever!

reminds me of adjustment bureau :)

this is just so very very cool :D

i will eat this before i die!

may be i'll try this during holidays :)

and end up having nothing go in ur head. i understand, COMPLETELY

omg!!! josh duhamel is soo fckin hawt!!! seriously, i dont think anyone SANE will disagree with me xD

so anyways, i just watched when in rome :D i know this is a tues night and all plus exam week bla bla bla~ my sis just loveee to pick such GREAT times to watch movie and drama series (i know cant blame her, since i'm the one who gave in to temptation) the movie is AWESOME MAN!!! like super nice :D so damn funny&cute&sweet. not one of those cliche movie :)

kristin bell is so pretty toooo, like seriously... i mean i dont find a lot of people pretty but she really is super pretty. they're like so right for each other except for the fact that josh is married to fergie. dang, she's so lucky mann. so yea :)

i hope tmr's exam's gonna be easy...pa&muet3. dang~ pa essay x.x

today's chem was bad man, like where the hell did teacher even get the question from?!!!! gooogle??? =.=

i would want this!!! :D

idk why, but i just really like this pic o.o

very very end. HP T.T i cant believe its coming to an end

counter for "superwoman"

2011-05-21T22:39:00.003+08:00

1st of all i'll wish vivan tan yi wen, happy 19th birthday :P yesh darling, i remember ;)

hope you have an awesome birthday and may all your dreams and wishes come true~

anyways~ just as i've promised i'll counter ur "superwoman post" sorry i couldnt typed this earlier (didnt really had the time) until now :) [i just reached home] =.=

ur right on 1 account tho, no matter what you've done for people, you CANT and you can NEVER get the same treatment back cause everyone "pays back" differently. some thinks its the 2nd most normal thing for some1 to help them ( i call them ungrateful) and others are just you know treat u double or triple-ish better :) so yea. neway~ all m saying is, practice not to expect things and you really will be surprised, but you know whats the most surprising part at times? not how that person treats u back, but how after few years time, that person will still.." hey remember the time when u helped me....." :) u'd be surprised how that small event is a part of some1's memories~

and deary you should have more faith in mankind la...i use to think like you too (okay, may be this is a lil hypocritical cause i still kinda do at times). i read this quote somewhere saying that all friendship starts from a lil benefit. well, it does makes sense la in a way. but it wouldnt hurt if its mutual right? and plus wouldnt u feel even worse if you are of no use to the world, society, people and stuff? like imagine some1 saying this "why would i be friends with him/her, sudala no benefit, parasite-ish again" so it really comes down to how one thinks i guess. for me la, i dont mind being used (of course not until over la) when i say used not like driving plp around and all =.= like you know helping plp out, solving something. you know, those kind of stuff :) so yea~ and sometimes people treat u nicely cause they're in agood mood and just feels like brightening some1's day so yea :P just accept it! xD

and yesh any bestfriend who treats his/her bestfriend like that should really just go to hell. that i SUPER, 100%, VERY VERY support. like omg!!! heartless man. and yea, i kinda do believe ur last 2nd para..hehehe :P i understand what u mean. 100% is just, u know too vulnerable i guess. like man, 100%. i think only my sis knows 100% of me~ NAWWW~ i think only i know 100% of me..ahhaha. dont worry bout that part weirdo! everyone's like that i guess, or at least majority o.o

hmm~ yeap ~ i think thats all i wanna say..wanted to reply u directly tho but i know m gonna type long so i replied here instead. hehehe :P neway~ once again happy birthday darls :) xoxo

misshh euuu lots. come here soon!

2011-05-19T18:27:00.005+08:00

overall, today's a great day! :D

school was awesome, passed by bio colloquium up, FINALLY, off its goes~ away from my chest :P then MUET pics DONE! :D so yeaa~ i am a happy&satisfied. done my chem(almost finish all 10 qs!) & revised for bio(with a lil help frm the bio-nerd :P)

i was having magnum (with ALMOND) after dinner xD then my sis saw and wanted to eat tooo, she prefer the classic and as she opened the fridge and search for the ONE AND ONLY classic which she ESPECIALLY BOUGHT for herself, she couldnt find it. she was like WTF!!! and she actually bought 3 almonds&a classic. so yea~~ called my mum up and apparently mum ACCIDENTALLY ate it (well knowing my mum, it was predictable) my sis was like so piss&mad&furious and yea, all that. it was funny tho :P but kesian her, after all this few months time of wanting to eat classic magnum and kena eaten by my momma who prolly ways prefer almond over classic but then again she never read any labels and just u know pop it in her mouth. my sis is easily agitated, and its really fun to watch :D entertaining~

that darling, is my plan! :D

this! i super support!! :D

screw human's rights, if they dont care bout children, why should we.

tonight's plan is to not sleep and just study whole way thru, okay fine may be i'll sleep 5 hrs MAX. but then the rest is for studying, so yea... m gonna get coffee and caffeine and sugar or whatever in takes to keep me awake and HOPEFULLY my brain will not shut down due to over saturation of information~

and a quick update on tues, wesak day!

went to temple in the morning :) it was great and alll then the most =O part. I GOT HIT ON BY A REALLLY PRETTY GIRL! seriously, she's pretty man, like mix blooded pretty/hot. i know right~ at 1st i thought it was someone i knew, cause d'oh~ who'd walk up to u like that suddenly but then i realised she wasnt when well i realise she was flirting more than anything else.. btw~ all that went on without saying a single word. ikr!

then in the afternoon hung out with lyds, elys&jacqs at suria :) heheh~ was a cool outing that jacq finally get to meet lyds (&vice versa) so yeaa. too bad suria sucked tho =.= seriously plp, suria is a really bad idea/choice for people who didnt plan to go watch movie or to sum it up, horrible place for plp who didnt plan...... T_T i am NOT KIDDING.

well yea, pretty much thats it :D

2011-05-16T15:05:00.003+08:00

oh! blogspot's finally back in track...dnt knw whatsup with the system for the past few days o.o

the weekend had been goood man! xD like AWETHUMMM good. like spend lots of time with family :) lalall~ other than that, exam is just around the corner so =/ &to be honest i KINDA dont wanna go for the talk this sat cause i rli think i dnt have the time for it with exam so close and stuff... sigh~ but still the same also la cause even if i dont go for the talk, i'll still have to work anyways so SAME THING =.=

so~~ ALRIGHTS! goal for today, FINISH&PRINT bio coll :D

so happy mother's day :)

2011-05-08T21:28:00.004+08:00

and i love u momman :D tho i know u'll never read this post but stilll yea...love you A LOT! eventho sometimes u are sooooo THAT. but yea :) sorry for all that i've down, i must be a pretty bad kid since i thinking bout what i say and do to you + what u did for all of us makes me cry =.= and yes, i shall control temper for family's sake =/ and i'll try and help you out as much as possible eventho half the time all you caused me is just troubles and problems which i'm sure you dont know of =.= no m not ranting, just stating u know... &&& we should all sit down more and have family meeting/talk. i used to dread those days but then now i realise that i really miss it. we all barely even sit and eat dinner together. yea. that saddens me a lot. anyways~ hope u're happy today and m really sorry that when i book myself for work, i didnt know its mothers day today, i'll make it up to you :) someway. somehow.

2011-05-03T18:59:00.003+08:00

and to be completely honest, i dont think i can take anything, anymore.

2011-05-02T21:08:00.004+08:00

i miss those days :/ soraa~~

i feel like just staying at home for a REALLY long time. like solitary confinement.

i feel so moodless lately. i dont know why too. like just no mood you know. yeaaa. nothing's wrong just, nothing's seem to be right either. it's like i'm floating around not heading anywhere, just stuck there, lost, not knowing where to go. i dont have the will or energy to study. just slacking and yet exam is in 3 weeks time. all i wanna do is just lie on my bed for days, staring at the ceiling, thats my ideal way of spending free time. i'm not kidding. i dont think i'm depress cause it's not like i'm sad and stuff. i just dont feel anything anymore. dont feel like texting too. i know right or even talking on the phone. may be i still prefer talking on the phone compared to texting. but yea, thats just it. emptiness. nothing. just going through my life not living it, one day at a time ._. weird much? may be i really need a vacation, a getaway. i haven't been on a single vacation since i started 2011. no brunei, no kundasang, nothing. oh! and this has been a horrible weekend, i cannot think of one good thing that has happened.

2011-05-01T13:40:00.003+08:00

i think it's me. i just have the tendency to screw things up all the time then have to go all out to fix it. people around me says its not my fault, but you see..thing is, if it's not, then why is it always happening to me?

i'm a very confusing child,

first i want to text you, then when i do, i dont feel like texting you anymore..

2011-04-30T13:51:00.002+08:00

AN UGLY PERSONALITY, CAN DESTROY A PRETTY FACE

we don’t realize but we are the ones who suffer when we hold on to anger. its very tiring.

2011-04-28T21:09:00.006+08:00

i am so gonna miss HP.

I LITERALLY GREW UP WITH IT!

omg!!!!

it cant end, its sinning!!!

2011-04-28T11:12:00.002+08:00

so i didnt go to school today cause its gonna be ceramah WHOLE day long. BOOS~ i did slept for 11 hours last night :D i slept at 9.30pm and woke up at 8am :)

so yea...now i'm in my momma's office... iknow iknow. just went to digi to help my mum pay her bills, got my number back & UNFORTUNATELY didnt get jacq's PUK, cause she has to be there to get it..boo to that =(

now i'm thinking bout what should i do to kill time.hmm~ actually i do have somthing in mind buttt....shoould i? and should i go for the chinese singing competition thingee tmr? i mean, i really wanna show my suppot to ely&aaron but.....why am i hesitating o.o should i or should i not, decision decisions..

so addicted to 0330 @_@ but then in school i cant seem to sing it.. lawl..its a nice song to HEAR not sing =P lalalalala~

this week's been great.. not much studying going on. and i'm officially drama-LESS :) THAT i love...hope it last forever :)

seriously, one thing i learn: you dont know happiness unless u felt pain&sadness. kinda, something along that line :P

OH! and milk+honey is AWESOME!!! i bought some milk then due to the fact that m out of milo so mix it with honey....with heat of course..so its warm honey milk~ so niceeee...i finished a litre of milk in 2 days time. IKNOWRIGHT. i broke my own record ;)

gah!!! i cant seem to study too...=.= idk y..i really dont...exam is like in 2 weeks time...and i still have nothing digested =/ shit, m so freakin worried...like i cant seem to sit & listen (even in schl).

2011-04-26T16:26:00.000+08:00

OMG! convo of the year:

grandma: eh, the fish very lil only ah so give ur aunt&uncle frm HK to eat, you eat something else

me: okay *smiles*

=__________= i am not joking.

but then its okay la since

1) i'm used to her being like that

2) i'm happy&hyper today :)

I was super duper hyper then got really tired, wanted to sleep but then cant, so i got a lil grumpy&anoyed at the end of the day =.= and MUET colloquium is OFFICIALLY OVER! :D whee~ i dont care how i did, cause its in the past, just glad that so many things are coming to an end :))

its a goood dayyy~

2011-04-25T18:04:00.002+08:00

:D i'm happy today..i think i havent been happy for quite a while.

everything is just great today.

i feel a good vibe~ please be an awesome week, month, year. as long as possible!

and please let all my friends stay/be happy too.

that'd be great!!!

so muet presentation tmr =/

too bad no cash..i really did hope there was since the categories sounded so CLASSY, emerald, diamond&amethyst =.= and all we're gonna get is kokum marks, IF we scored in any of those categories...seriously, KOKUM MARKS...

=.=

oh well~ nvm at least helped brush up presentation skills i guess :)

gtg shower then sleep. was stuck in traffic for like 2 hours just now. seriously...

other than that my aunt&uncle is gonna be back from HK tonight, whee~~

dead beat x_x

truth?

2011-04-23T16:16:00.006+08:00

truth is :

-sometimes i really like you&sometimes i just really hate you. idk why, you can make me like&hate you so much. i used to try so hard to please you but that was a long time ago and i've already learn that you will forever be bias in terms of loving people. so yea, i accepted that and life's been better, just the usual love-hate thing going on.

-when people starts talking bout you and all, like asking if i ever miss you when ur always outstation or that u seem to busy to be at home, idk what to answer. the truth will seem harsh, all i do is smile and say of course. cause you see thing is, i dont, i really dont care if your gone for a week or 2, a month. it really doesnt make a difference anymore. its like you're here but then you're not. may be i'm just used to it. in fact, i think i'd be really tired&annoyed if you have nothing else to do and is around me all the time.

-i really do miss talking to you in the car, i'd rather just sit in the car and talk to you rather than go back to a house where i could hardly call a home, or can i? idk, i just have what i call as my BED&my PILLOW. yea. thats all. but i guess you're gonna spend more time over there now, since some idiot said something that hurt you like that. i hope both of you can patch it back together, i want to help but i have enough on my mind&i really just dunno where to start. both of you are equally stubborn..tho i have to say the idiot is obviously more wrong in many ways.

-you are probably the biggest bitch i've ever known, but then i dont think there's anyone else in this world who knows me more than you. you can make me smile&laugh till my tummy ache& at the same time hurt me so much with your words. i hate the fact that i put u 1st in everything and that you dont, heck, sometimes i just feel like you dont even care. sometimes, i dont even know why do i care for you so much cause it seems so not worth it, ur so bloody unappreciative and just wish me to be gone half the time. and i know for a fact that you care bout your stupid game more than me. ugh!!! but then i just really dont know how will i be able to survive for 18 years without you by my side, sometimes, i realise its cause of you i can make it this far.

-you were my first friend i've known ever since i came back to malaysia, a country so foreign to me, the country where i had no foundation in, the country that has literally changed me&my life. and i guess its really due to the language that we were friends, cause we're really very different people. but then, i really love you for sticking with me through everything. i really dont know how would i be able to cope with high school if it wasnt for you. i hope you come back soon cause life's really hard without you around, and i really hope that everything's alright with you&him. him-who until today i've never met, sadly.... lawls, soon i hope. i get to visit you there. hahahah~ this had been said since what, i'm in form3? :P

-i would really like to say thank you for coming into my life last year, i know we've just met and all but then i can really just "click" with you, not only that but having u around is like getting a injected with happiness(especially in the morning). & thank you so much for just being there, eventho sometimes you know that i dont wanna talk bout it or that you dont know anything bout something(like last year), you were just there,never pressuring me to say anything just making sure i was alright. i love the fact that i could just drive over to your place to chill&talk. woman, know that i got your back. so yea... i'll listen to you&be there for you just like how u are there for me too. just stay strong for the people you love. life's tough but i know for a fact that you're definitely tougher than LIFE itself.

-you're probably the most peaceful, kind person i've ever know. like passive god-like kindness, you even cry for things that are just "a LIL touching". you've never been mad at anything. you just really listen to what everyone has to say. eventho i find it funny when i catch you not understanding what i say half the time AND THAT u pretend that you do. may be you're just scared that i'll be piss or soemthing if you ask me to repeat but i really wont, cause no one can really stay mad at you for a long time. i dont know how u do it. having such balance in your life. everyone loves you, you never offend anyone and you know..its so weird, strange in fact, how can anyone do that?? i really cant understand. so drama-less, picture perfect life.

-you have the same effect as any adorable 3-year old have on me.. not every tho, not really a toddler fan. but yea... i just hope ur always happy&gets good vibe everyday cause even when i'm sad or unhappy and stuff, watching you happy makes me smile and i just forgets bout my happiness for that 3 secs or may be more. and when ur depress..same thing la. i guess you just could affect others with your mood, so yea, stay happy. and do you know, ever since the first time i missed school, i have never failed to call you-its like a tradition/ritual alread. you're like my update-r cause even in the most boring-est of days you can find something interesting&funny to say. you're definitely one of the people i'm glad to meet when i enter this place. dont pressure yourself with stupid things&you can always talk to me or some1 else who u find close if something's up..k. dont keep it in cause u know&i know that when u tell it to someone you'll feel better :)

-thanks for making me laugh all the time, i'm really sorry for what i've done back when i was in form3, due to your gender preference i distant myself. guess it really hurt a lot. but then u just forgave me and stuff.. i'm glad now eventho we've gone our respective ways. we still hangs a lot, and you getting funnier each time we see each other :D friday night was a blast. i havent laugh so much in such a long time. thank you so very very much. and sorry for all i've done to you, i know i kinda treat u in a really mean way at times. and you always just say "xi guan jiu hao" m really sorry bout that =( and thanks for caring eventho you have no idea what is happening in my life :) but u know just making me laugh, makes my day. so yea..thanks~

-i dont even know, why should i include in this, its like you're so not even worth my time talking bout you here.in my blog. but yea...i used to like you, until things happened last year. and then i hate you, now i just sympathise you..with a lil dislike,hatred. yea... i sympathise you for being so attention seeking and yet could never get it. you're causing so many dramas&troubles for other people, i'd wish you'll stop. but knowing you, i doubt it. you have a man, and yet you go around the school flirting with every bloody guy you see. seriously, whore much? but yea..whatever la, may be u lack attention at home (which is kinda impossible since knowing ur family background, i HIGHLY doubt it) and i realise you hate to see me happy, so yea, too bad i caught on that part fast so now whenever you're around, even when i'm depress, i'll act HAPPY.

-i would say i trust u a lot, but then i wouldnt rely on you in times of real troubles and stuff cause well you put your own emotions in front of everyone else's needs. so yea, relying on you will be risky and i am not a risk-taker. so yea. &your words are like so fake at times, half of the time i dont believe it, its like so taken out from books or part of movies and stuff you know, like the one line that everyone goes " *o* awwwww~ " but then in reality the poeple uttering these lines does not exist, so yea..i dont buy it. honestly, i dont. but then, i'm really glad that i met you&the other fella, who could make my day if the 3 of us just hangout and all without the DISTURBANCE of certain people. last year seemed easy enough, this year, we cant even get like half an hour to ourselves =( sadly... anyways, i wanna thank you too for genuinely caring, listening to me venting&ranting :P

-you're like one of the people i consider close, but too bad we're not of the same class&everything else. may be its fate? never of the same class,sports house,any clubs, nothing.. o.o but then idk why u always have that perfect timing, there when i needed someone. so yea..thanks for everything, i think no "thanks" is enough to tell you how much i really thank you, the gratitude&all for everything you've done(not once or twice but quite a few times). its just too bad that now, our friendhsip has gotten like this. i hope everything will be alright soon. i'm sorry for everything that i've done to you&put you in. seriously i am. so anyways, just do what you want, and yea, i'm here whenever you need me. take care of yourself and just stay focus on your studies.

-i'm really surprise at the amount of trust you placed on me knowing that we've only met each other less than a year. i know you're not exactly everyone's favorite person&that you really have troubles with one of your friend(s) but yea...hope you stay strong and all. some people will dislike you cause may be they dont know your story . but yea, you really do have LOTS of room for improvement and i really hope you'll work on it, cause seriously, it'll definitely make you a better person&that your relationship with other people will be better. oh! and thanks for updating me with all those current issues and make these kind of topics real fun(thanks to the sarcasm) :P its really rare and hard to find people who can discuss these kind of topics with, so yea :)

2011-04-23T16:02:00.003+08:00

dont include me in your plans and use me like some shit.

i have a life & i dont like my time wasted on useless things like THIS.

i have better things to do & i deserve a choice/an option too!

2011-04-23T08:04:00.001+08:00

what's on todays agenda:

-wedding

-work

-concert

this is gonna be a longg busy, tiring day =_=

there goes my holidayyyyyyy, my supposedly day off~

2011-04-22T18:41:00.004+08:00

yay! my sis doesnt mind ;D so i guess ima just go hangs with jing&yan at damai until my mum calls and says "where are the both of you" in french :D
i suddenly feel like making a twitter acc =O but nooo, must not giveee in to twitttter-r--r---r =P

overall on today:
morning- went to school for maths extra class, very short-lived fun, ended up getting warned by teacher not to discuss anything OTHER than maths

afternoon/evening- hung out at jacqs place, discussing bout MUET&a lil catching up :)

nights- supposedly go to tsung tsin to help my mum out with something..something very boring&time-wasting, no offence momma, so yeaa~ planning to escapeee =D

~~hope you get over it soon, i really want my friend back :( and sorry for everything you had to go through....

2011-04-21T17:06:00.001+08:00

2011-04-20T19:10:00.003+08:00

i dont care my hair is wet
and i haven't eat my dinner yet,
i'm going to bed..

so freakin' tired. and i'm glad everything turned out well,
got the mice for the dissection tomorrow liao.
havent been sleeping well these few nights, more like slept late&wake super early. so yea..and i swear just now i was hallucinating, like delusional-ish, not in terms of sight, but hearing =/
freakayyyy

2011-04-19T19:55:00.009+08:00

i am TIRED of:

-saying sorry to people eventho sometimes its NOT my fault.

-patching things back together knowing it'll fall apart again

-thinking that friendship matters to some poeple, obviously now i can see that its very one-sided only.

-pretending things didn't happen just so that things don't get weird and awkward.

-being nice to people and actually cares, cause it leads to MORE problems

-having people ASSUMING this and that while never stating it clearly in the first place

anyways..you people just do what you want cause i dont give a damn anymore. if you have a problem with me, TALK, if you dont talk, i seriously dont know what to do as well cause dont say i didnt try, CAUSE I DID! there is only so much i can do.